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𝗗𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁. Stop saying things like: "I'll try to be there on time" "I'll try to eat less" "I'll try to get it done by Friday" 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 "𝘁𝗿𝘆" 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲. The thing you're going to "try" isn't important. It doesn't matter if it doesn't get done. Trouble is - trying to do something can make you look like you don't care. If you say - I'll try to get there for 7 - to someone, it gives the impression that being on time or making the other person wait, isn't important to you. Also "𝘁𝗿𝘆" 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝟭𝟬𝟬%. It gives you a get out of jail free, "I tried but..." If you want something, do it - to the best of your ability. 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. If you don't know how, ask or Google it. This used to be me. I've "tried" and given up many times. This behaviour stopped when I saw it wasn't worked and used a different approach. A simple 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗰𝗸. I stopped using "try." I used other words to state my intention: "The report will be on your desk by 9am Friday." "I'll be there on time" "I'll meditate for 5 minutes this morning" 𝗗𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸: Consciously stop yourself when you're about to say "try." And notice the difference. #mindset #mindsettips
We all know people who've settled for a level of despair they can cope with and call it happiness. That's not you, is it?
If I can’t really find a way to live with myself, I can’t expect anyone else to live with me. Peter Sellers. If you aren't able to sort out your own shit, how can you expect anyone to put up with you? Sellers often spoke about his feelings of having no identity when he wasn't playing a part on TV or in a movie. He struggled his entire life with anxiety and depression. Married four times, he died alone, just 54 after a heart attack. Probably one of the biggest unspoken reasons why relationships fail is - you don't deal with the negativity going on inside your mind. Left un-managed it can spew out of people's mouths as waves of hurtful, nasty words. Or maybe worse, the dreaded overbearing pain of silence. Mindset is everything. You'll see this phrase everywhere but hardly anyone takes it seriously or does anything about changing theirs. People get drunk, eat crappy foods, get high, take huge risks. Almost anything to escape from themselves. You can run a million miles yet the only thing you can't escape, is YOU. Folks blame modern life, social media, the news. Pretty much everything but refuse to admit the real truth. You are responsible for what goes on inside your mind. More to the point you are 100% responsible for the negative things you say out loud. One of the simplest things you can do, to change your mindset, is don't vocalise negativity. It works - go on a 24 hour, zero negative speech diet and discover how much better you feel. Mindset IS everything. Can't do this yourself? Call me and let's chat.
Build Better Boundaries
Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. This was my mantra as a child. Just came to me this afternoon. Out of nowhere. It's how I got through the day. I was called all kinds of names in my first years at school, because my dad was "different." He was the only man of colour for miles around. My mum told me to repeat this phrase to help me overcome the bullying. It never worked, no matter how many times I repeated it. Those words stung. Worse than broken bones - I know because I've broken my fair share. Years later, I met a couple of the guys who'd called me names, said they were affectionate nicknames. Sure they were. Took me years to get over the feelings of fear and inadequacy the name calling generated. No matter how hard I tried I could never fit in. Wasn't part of the gang. in the end, I stopped chasing. Went my own way. Did my own thing. Left home and travelled. If you're struggling with trolls, haters and morons in general. I sympathise. The best thing to do is not waste your energy on them. Don't listen to the negative voices in your life. They will never understand. Mostly, they don't want to. You have better things to do with your energy. Focus on those who want to listen, who are open to new thoughts, new ideas. Go your own way. Make your own path. Need help, drop me a DM. Peace🙏❤
The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the empty, writhing shells aside. Sam Vaknin
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Take the time to THINK, before taking action.
My friend Dave is a tough guy. He served in the French Foreign Legion. He hates bullies. One night we were wandering around town looking for fun. We walked towards the only place open - a grotty club that no longer exists. A small, drunk student was giving the head bouncer a bit of lip. The Doorman was huge. He got angry with the kid, started wailing in heavily on him. Before you could say "WTF" Dave has the bouncer in a headlock. Time stands still. The other bouncers rush out but are stopped in their tracks by what they see. I grab the student's mate, picked up the drunk kid and carried him to a waiting taxi, dropped the driver some cash, told him to take them home. I walked over to Dave who still has the bouncer in a headlock and calmly said, let's go in and have a drink. He releases the bouncer and we walk into his club. We stayed until closing time. Drinking, dancing and chatting to a few girls - Not a peep out of the bouncer or his mates. Now... Picture a guy called Colin. 30 something. Thin, weedy, loves Cheerios and still lives at home with his mum. The hardest thing he's ever done was to jump into his local swimming pool with his eyes closed. Do you think if Colin saw my friend Dave in a bar he'd walk over, and call him out? Unless Colin was clinically insane, he wouldn't. But put Colin behind a computer screen and he becomes... IRONTROLL Fingers of steel, the speed of a cheetah, the balls of an elephant. ✅Calling out anyone. ✅Upsetting people. ✅Insulting the world. Why's he doing this? Because he can. He's hidden. He's safe from retribution and because he's hungry. Colin's favourite dish is "shit au stirring." Made up of a mix of tears, upset, anger and frustration - given off by folks, who get upset by his insults, name calling and worse. I know it's hard but don't feed them. Don't let them consume your energy. The more you feed them, the hungrier they become. They won't go away until you're completely exhausted. They can remove your will to live or at least massively piss you off. The only cure once you've been bitten, is exile in a 5,000 year old secret monastery in Tibet.🤣 Don't feed the trolls.
Nothing pains some people more than having to think. Martin Luther King Jr
While you can’t control someone’s negative behaviour, you CAN control how long you put up with it.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anaïs Nin
Spend time with people who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.
Be who you want to be, NOT what you think others want to see.